so basically...

jake needs to go the vet something serious. i also gotta get him dog food. ugh, he's such a drain on my money but he's the cutest thing ever.

the wedding has pretty much been put on hold for right now. alan seems to have no idea when we'll be able to live together (by his own admission) since he's a broke ass. every place i find that i'll admit, isn't the best of best but is afforable, alan doesn't like. i try and tell him that it's better than nothing but there's no convincing him.

the diet isn't going as great as i planned. i know that produce is expensive but my goodness! there's no way in hell i'm going to be able to keep up with this. i can't cook everyday since my hours are so erratic that i'm never during dinner time or even real waking human hours, so it's hard. but nothing worth having comes easy, as they say.

lately i've been feeling very overwhelmed. i'm in debt, buying basic essentials is causing me to panic, i took on the responsibility of a car THAT I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE, the patch of hair that burnt off the fire still hasn't grown back... it's just a disaster. we're going to need to call exterminators for the roaches in the house but it doesn't even make sense to considering everyone is constantly leaving food and dirty dishes out. work is terrible. i'm a a breaking point. i never should have quit my job at the daycare. i miss those kids so much and i needed the extra money even of it was only 300 extra a month. i could have paid two bills with that extra money!

where's my head at, these days.