dearest, oh you're the nearest to my heart.

I've been out of myself lately. It's kinda creep when I feel like I'm watching myself do things instead of just doing them. I'm just feeling incredibly lazy lately. Hours are taking forever to pass, but when I want to savor something, it's over so quickly. I just can't feel to get comfortable, which explains to the lack of sleep but nothing else.

Eisley/Ben Folds/Buddy Holly have basically been my soundtrack the past few days. I've so on edge and wound up. Work is work. I hate it so much, having to work but I need money among other things so I push it down. But, I don't want to be fake about it. Kevin knows I don't him or my job so he pushes me constantly. It's like being in a failing marriage with him. We never see eye to eye but neither one of us wants to give up, we just want one of us to bend to the other's will. But I won't bend to Kevin, so he's fucked. I'm very blessed to even have a job, so I try not to complain; but with him, it's hard not to complain.

My first visit with Jeanne Yetz is a little over a month away. I'm extremely anxious to finally meet her. I imagine this what pregnancy must be like. You constantly talking to and about something you're not able to meet yet. I just want to get it over with. I've been trying to write down how I'm feeling every day like she said, I think she wants me to elaborate on what I mean when I say 'like shit'. Eh.

I NEED TO START THIS SLEEVE ALREADY!!!!

I'm hungry.