i honestly don't know where i'm going in life anymore. i'm stuck at a job that i don't like but i have to continue working there even though i'd much rather not work to focus on school. i want to get married but we can't afford to move in together yet and how dumb would it look to not be living with my husband? i just want alan and i to be able to live the way we dream to. we both want to go to school and live together. we can't even have that. it's so frustrating.

i had a dream last night that i won the lottery and spent MILLIONS on books and bookshelves. i lived in this tiny cottage apartment and had every wall covered in books and bookshelves. i just sat around and read books all day long. it was perfect. i still hold out hope on eventually going to school to be a librarian. i'll be a professional student for a living. just filling my brain with knowledge.

i really hope these people from sanrio call me back. i want to quit...