A quick post before bed. So I got my haircut to about my mid back. Alan cut it and I must admit for a sister-less, hair cutting amateur, he did a great job. I tried to help him relate to work by telling it's just cutting cables; you mess up, and you're screwed. But really though, he did great.

Ever since my roommates left, we've settled into domestication quite well. But I have noticed that in regards to PDA, we're not a terribly affectionate couple. We don't hold hands in public, let alone kiss. I give him the occasional hug but we look more like friends hanging out than an engaged couple. Thing is I thing I like us that way. My parents were never openly affectionate with us kids growing up. I think the military may have harded them to their emotions a little so once they had kids, they didn't notice their standoffish-ness. I get a little repulsed when I see people smothering their kids/lovers in kisses and goo-goo talk. We have a fire for that man that peopel could never understand but, I don't think it's so important to show it off for others; I'm his and he's mine. This is fact.

dearest, oh you're the nearest to my heart.

I've been out of myself lately. It's kinda creep when I feel like I'm watching myself do things instead of just doing them. I'm just feeling incredibly lazy lately. Hours are taking forever to pass, but when I want to savor something, it's over so quickly. I just can't feel to get comfortable, which explains to the lack of sleep but nothing else.

Eisley/Ben Folds/Buddy Holly have basically been my soundtrack the past few days. I've so on edge and wound up. Work is work. I hate it so much, having to work but I need money among other things so I push it down. But, I don't want to be fake about it. Kevin knows I don't him or my job so he pushes me constantly. It's like being in a failing marriage with him. We never see eye to eye but neither one of us wants to give up, we just want one of us to bend to the other's will. But I won't bend to Kevin, so he's fucked. I'm very blessed to even have a job, so I try not to complain; but with him, it's hard not to complain.

My first visit with Jeanne Yetz is a little over a month away. I'm extremely anxious to finally meet her. I imagine this what pregnancy must be like. You constantly talking to and about something you're not able to meet yet. I just want to get it over with. I've been trying to write down how I'm feeling every day like she said, I think she wants me to elaborate on what I mean when I say 'like shit'. Eh.

I NEED TO START THIS SLEEVE ALREADY!!!!

I'm hungry.

Obsessives: Urban Farming

Obsessives: Urban Farming

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Just a quick check-in but I really love my boyfriend. He's a pretty cool guy.

I miss my hair this length. I was thinking about cutting it. But eh, I don't know maybe just a good trim. I don't know. I'm rambling.

Anyway, so I've got a pretty bad cold and I feel just terrible. This is going to be an interesting week I can tell already. Today is Marcus' birthday party but I don't really get to have a too much fun because I have work early tomorrow morning. Why is it that as soon as my boss knows that I have plans after closing he schedules to work early the next day so I can't really let loose the way I want to? I can't stand this guy. But I bet you he'll have every Saturday off that Gators play and no one can say anything to him about him. What a tool.

happy in the haze of an drunken hour

"My relationship is the thing I'm proudest of in my life. I had a lot of opportunities to end up in some pretty bad situations and, despite all my faults, I had the sense to find someone like him and make the decision to be with him. You spend a lot of time wanting to be with the wrong person and I just feel incredibly lucky because I've succeeded at that one thing. I figured that out."

-Sarah Polley

For a while, I was beginning to think that my marriage to Alan (even though we aren't married just yet) wasn't going to work out. Both my mom and my dad have been married three times so it's hard to have any sort of faith in long-lasting relationship when you've never seen proof of one. We're doing everything we can to keep our relationship strong by communicating and and really listening to each other. It's hard at times because sometimes, we just don't see eye to eye. But as long as we realize that all we have is each other and that a deal is deal, our marriage will last our lives.

Moving on, my birthday was three days ago. Yup, I'm (after my friend Tytus) the oldest of all of my friends. The night was pretty great. We had beer, tacos and the most cutthroat game of Monopoly I've ever played. The night had its moments of drama but I wouldn't change it. I don't feel any different since turning twenty-three. But I must admit, the closer I get to twenty-five, the more anxiety I feel wondering if I'm ever going to get to accomplish the things I want. Where my life is going and who I am in the grand scheme of things. I promised myself i wouldn't have a quarter life crisis though. I can't afford a "go find myself" sabbatical. Maybe if we win the lotto, but if that happens, I'll just buy a Lambo.

the nightman cometh

i've been having britney spears attack today. i can't cannot stop listening to her. i'm addicted to heavy bass so maybe that's it.

i've been trying to put my birthday dinner outfit together and i think i may have found it. pics later.